Relationships Are An “Inside Job” « Date Camp
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Relationships Are An “Inside Job”

By Chris Natzke, Self-Confidence and Strength Coach

 

Let’s face it, relationships make the world go around.

Each day we are affected by the relationships we have created in our lives.  These are relationships with family, friends, co-workers, bosses, children and significant others.  Although we can perceive the “having” of quality relationships with others as the most important aspect of our lives, I would argue that the most important relationship we can have is with ourselves.

In my work with clients who are seeking romantic relationships, I always ask “What are the qualities you’re seeking in a partner?”  The answer to this question usually has my clients wanting someone in their lives who will be loving, patient, generous, light hearted and adventurous.

As we continue our discussion, I find that many times they are searching for these qualities in a partner not because they see them as a reflection of what is already inside of themselves but because they are looking for someone else to “complete” them.  They believe the only way to feel more whole, happy and complete is by having another person in their life provide this for them.

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We live in world where “like attracts like.”  Have you ever noticed that when you are at your most frazzled and anxious that you continue to attract instances in your life that give you the opportunity to choose between demonstrating patience or impatience?  The crazy guy in traffic, the slow moving cashier at the grocery store, the crying child all provide us instances that test our patience.  If only those people or circumstances would change, you would feel so much better.  I’m here to tell you, the only way those instances will change in your life is if you change yourself first, by choosing to be more patient, regardless of the circumstances that appear in your life.

22 - Karate GirlThe same goes for dating and finding the relationship of your dreams.  If you want to attract someone who is loving, kind and giving toward you, you first need to be that way to yourself!   Trust me, it’s like a magnet, if you begin to truly embrace those qualities within yourself, not only will you recognize your wholeness and completeness, just the way you are, but you will begin to share those qualities with the world around you, and, in return, attract the kind of person who resonates with that same energy.

Relationships are an “inside job.”  That doesn’t mean you don’t take actions like dating, taking care of your physical appearance and making yourself available for a relationship.  What it means is that you come from that way of being inside yourself to attract what you want in a romantic partnership.  Trust me, it works!  And if it doesn’t, at least you’ll be in love with the person you’ll be living with for the rest of your life, regardless of the circumstances – YOU.

Chris Natzke is a 7th Degree Black Belt/Master Instructor as well as a U.S. National Champion (1999).  He teaches leadership and self protection seminars. Contact Chris at Chris@ChrisNatzke.com.

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